I havent updated in a while. I have had such a stressful week and a half. I will be updating soon. 

Today in the library while studying for my PSYC test I suddenly had a mini panic attack. My heart started racing and I started feeling really nervous. I have never experienced anything like that before. I dont know what is going on with me.

It's sleppy time. Nite nite.

So I went bowling again tonight and it was a totally different experience. I feel so good right now. My roommate wasnt able to go with me because she had a test so I didnt have to deal with her negativity. The rest of the prople in the bowling club were so nice to me. The president spent so a lot of time with me teaching me the steps and they complemented me everytime I did good job. I am still not a great bowler but I feel so much better about the experience. All the positive reinforcement made me feel so good. I am not saying I cant handle a little criticism but she just being overly nasty for no real reason especially considering it was my very first time bowling and I did better than her. I love the people in the bowling club and whe we go there again (me and my rommie that is) I am gonna try to distance myself from her and her negitivity. I dont want to hurt her feelings so how do I tell her I dont want to bowl with her because she is too nasty?

For the past couple of days I have been feeling really down because of my over consumption. I am doing better today, I managed to control myself today (so far) and I feel very good about myself. If only I be like this everyday my life would be a little better. I am only 5ft 4 and I weigh close to 155lbs right now and I know that is way too much. I used to be a slim 126lbs. I dont know what happened. I dont know how I let myself get this way. I am so ashamed of myself.

No matter how hard I try I just cant stop overeating. I want to slim down but I continuously eat when I am not hungry and overeat at meals. I am so sick of myself.

So today I went bowling with my roommate. Ummm I did ok considering it was the first time I bowled. I actually did better than her but for some reason now I feel really anxious. I mean there was something she said that made me feel really weird. I really dont know what to make of it. I feel really uncomfortable now.

I have so much work to do and I feel really really overwhelmed. I just sitting here looking at this pile of pages I have to read and I just get sick just thinking about it. I have tried to read this stuff but for some reason I just cant get through it. When I read I feel like I am just saying the works and not really reading because after I have "read" a sentence I have to go back and read it again because I didnt understand what I read. I am so frustrated right now. None of this makes any sense to me. I read entire paragraphs and still have no idea what was said in them. I dont know what I will do tomorrow when we have to discuss some of this stuff. Luckily its a big class so I can just sort of hide in the back and not say anything, but since participation is part of the grade I will only be hurting myself. *sigh*